Standing on the edge of jumping

更大的失落感從來都不是擁有後的失去，而是從來沒有得到過，過於錯弱的不體面，是幼年被潛移默化的積累，莫名被背向光的方向吸引和行走，在黑暗裡被來來往往穿梭的人流碾壓，現實世界裡的車禍會真的帶走人的性命，但被創傷在心上的禍叫人猙獰，界於存活和絕望的夾層間，被溼冷陰霾包裹，光的視野還在那裡，但遙不可及。

臆想也來自於對現實的憤懣後的無助，所有被風吹過搖擺的樹葉，被信任和愛的陪伴下的撫育，被正面力量帶頭的積極感，一樣難以觸碰。

The greater sense of loss is never the loss of possession, but never the gain. Too weak and unseemliness is the accumulation of the subtle influence of early childhood. Inexplicably drawn to and walking in the opposite direction of the light, crushed by the flow of people coming and going in the darkness. A car accident in the real world can really take away a person’s life, but a traumatic accident in the heart can be a ferocious disaster. Bounded between survival and despair, wrapped in the wet, cold, and haze, the vision of light is still there, but out of reach.

The imagination also comes from the helplessness after the resentment against reality. All the leaves swayed by the wind, nurtured by the company of trust and love, the positive feeling of being led by a positive force is just as hard to touch.

‘My life just holding my neck and spit on me’

‘My mind just silly not suitable for this world’

‘I’m just afraid I’ll hold you back’

‘I’m panicking and stressful..’

‘I should really need to go to see GP’

(‘Nobody can save you, save by yourself otherwise go to die’)

灰色情緒衍生出的文字有資格稱為詩歌，作品嗎

消極的心態有資格活著嗎？

Do words derived from gray emotions qualify as poetry, as works?

Is a negative mindset qualified to live?